Domination or Disguised Abuse

Venturing into a world that is unfamiliar can be confusing and if guided by somebody with ulterior motives can become scary and dangerous. 
BDSM is all about consent, trust, and respect. 
If you've ever been approached by a man and given an unsolicited photograph of their penis, they ARE NOT a dominant. A true dominant would NEVER do that. That would violate the very foundation of any type of possible relationship because it does not begin with consent.  If somebody expects you to address them by title upon introduction or begins the conversation by calling you "pet" names, they are not an experienced Dom (unless said introduction is made at a bdsm venue or comparable event where the expectations are clear upon arrival). If you have ever been requested to engage in a scene (a scripted act of play) with anybody before discussing the activities you are comfortable with (hard and soft limits), you aren’t in communication with a dom. Safewords are established because it is understood that either party can end a scene for ANY reason, at ANY time.
If it isn’t consensual, it is assault.
Trust is the second element. Trust is earned, not given. It doesn't matter if you are into soft or hard play, it is absolutely crucial. During soft play, triggering words or phrases may be used and scenarios that take you out of your comfort zone. During harder play, you may very well be putting your safety and well being into somebody else's hands. This doesn't just go for submissives. Doms are also exposing a side of themselves that they typically keep hidden from the outside world. If anybody tries to coax you in trusting them blindly, it is a recipe for disaster and honestly, unsafe. Take your time. Build a foundation.
Respect is the third element.  BDSM play is sought as a mutually beneficial situation. There should be something to gain by both parties, never to be one sided. If somebody isn't respecting your limits and respecting you as an equal partner, they are not worthy.
The very last thing I will address on this topic are the three S's.
Safety  Sobriety Sanity

Author

​Ann Dromeda has been an online content creator for the
last three years and has been an adult performer since 2003. 
Learn more about her here.